Elements of an Effective Communicator

Active listening

Watching and listening play a big part in effective communication. The goal of active listening is to understand not just the words a person says but the meaning or point of view the person is trying to get across.

Timing and setting:

Some settings make communicating easier, just as certain times seem to be better than others. Be sensitive to potential problems and eliminate distractions by choosing the right time & place. For instance when calling on someone important over the mobile we must reconsider the time of the day, and also instinctively go to a corner which is less noisy and has good network coverage

Effective self-expression:

Be sensitive to your own style of communicating. Take note of how you say things. Are you saying what you really mean? Are you saying it clearly and simply?

Do you give other messages with your tone of voice, your facial expression or your body as you talk and listen?

Pleasing & not a Gullible Disposure:

A smile can set the tone and mood anywhere, but only when it’s not faked. An earnest person seeks the truth, but a rogue curtains it.

Confident and not Arrogant:

Your tone must have the harmony and blend of confidence, tenacity and gentleness. A confident attitude is most anticipated when it isn’t followed by obstinacy. We can inculcate this demeanor only if we harbor openness to learning as well as unlearning.

Improving Listening Skills

• Stop talking. You can't listen if you are doing all the talking.

• Be patient while explaining. You can’t expect everyone to be intelligent as you, to quickly understand a complex thought or idea, it may take longer for a person (with a poor IQ like me) to understand or respond. Two or three minutes may be needed before the person can even begin to answer your question. Keep in mind that you can repeat the question or idea after waiting a few minutes for a response.

• Keep things simple. Use short sentences and plain words. Avoid complicated questions or directions. Follow the KISS rule- KEEP IT SHORT & SIMPLE

• Do not interrupt. The person may need extra time to express what he or she wishes to say.

• Show interest. Let the person know that you care what he or she is trying to say.

• Maintain eye contact, and try not to stand or sit very close. Maintaining a distance of not more than 2-3 feet will help you to focus and also observe the non-verbal vibes. Moreover coming at an uncomfortably close proximity with someone with whom you’re least emotionally attached can percolate undesirable feelings and prejudices about you. After all everyone seeks some personal space.

• Be gentle and make allowances for poor behavior. Try to be calm and to use tact, when dealing with a vexed client or customer. Remember- a consensus is far more fruitful than a conflict. Try to respond to any negative statements with understanding comments until the angry outburst ends. A person in rage ought to calm down; it’s only a matter of time. So, let him vent.

• Double-check understanding. Avoid assuming things. The person may even say he or she understands what you have said but still not understand at all. The best way to check understanding is to paraphrase and rephrase

Improving the setting and timing

• Make sure the person can see you well. Sit or stand directly in front of the person.

• Avoid distractions. Communication will be hard, if not impossible, under these circumstances- your mobile goes off on the loud mode, the background is noisy (loud street noise, for instance, or the sound of the television or even loud music)

• When other things or people can attract the person's attention (at shopping centers or restaurants, for example).

• Set aside a quiet place. You may even want to set aside a certain area at your home or office just for communicating. This could be a separate room or perhaps just a corner.

Improving self-expression

• Think ahead about what you will say. Know what information you want to tell or find out, and break this information down into individual parts. Give just one direction or piece of information at a time. Ask just one question at a time. Try to think of brief, easy-to-understand words and sentences to explain what you mean, but speak in a gently professional tone.

• Anticipate problems. Be prepared, for example, to repeat yourself as many times necessary without losing your temper.

• Make eye contact before speaking. Sometimes a gentle touch, if appropriate, can be a way of making sure you have the person's attention before you begin speaking.

• Listen to how you sound. Is your voice louder than usual? If so, you may sound angry or upset. Try to speak in a clear, pleasant voice. Speaking slowly and clearly will help.